Send-O-Vision 2.0 Speed Goggles

Strap on the Sendo Vision Goggles, and suddenly, you're the Chuck Norris of the ski slopes. These bad boys don't just enhance your vision; they give you ungodly send capabilities. Picture this: I donned the goggles, and boom! I transformed into a snow-cruising superhero. I launched off a slope so epic, even eagles were jealous. Mid-flight, I high-fived a yeti, aced a snowball fight with abominable snowmen, and landed gracefully, impressing a snow bunny dance party. These goggles turn ordinary runs into legendary odysseys. So, if you're ready to gap an entire mountain while looking like a snow deity, Sendo Vision is your cosmic ticket.

You guys have to reason with me. I swear I’ll hurt myself wearing these shades. Im about to head out west again (which is costing my first born) but if I can’t rock these while hitting a pillow I don’t know what I’ll do. Dm me so we can barter?

I had just hopped on the lift for what was the 7th run of the day. When out of nowhere something dropped right in my lap. I looked down and a numbing sensation overtook me. I had been blessed by the fabled Send Strap from the year 3000. Instinctively I chucked my sunnies, saluted the lift homies, and slid these mythical monsters over my eye sockets. The lift stopped, a HUGE engine like sound began. A split second I took off like a F-19 and began flying Mach 6 uphill above the tree tops. What a rush!

These bad boys put the freedom in 'merica.The second I put these bad boys on, my old duck boat turned into a 18 foot speed boat rocking a 1776 hp Mercurys. All of a sudden I heard Chattahoochee blasting out of the speakers. Jimmy Buffett then trolled up to me in his pontune and grilled me a burger. These send-o-visions are not just a purchase, but an investment of a lifetime.

A myth as it may seem to the average sender, Ludicrous Speed does exist. As a young lad I always dreamed of sending at near light speeds, which was only theoretical at the time. Even with this apparent cosmic speed limit set by the so called "scientists" of that era, I knew in my deepest heart of hearts that there was truly no limit on which I could send. As you grow older, those childish dreams and desires which were once held dear begin to fade away, and you begin to lose focus on the important things in life: like full sends with the fellas. The moment my pair of 2.0s touched my face everything I thought I knew faded away as I began to accelerate to full send speeds. No, I am not talking about that so called "cosmic speed" limit, I am talking about speeds reached by Dark Helmet and his fearless crew: Ludicrous Speed. Time and space all began to be melt away and move in ways I had never seen before. I could see all my future sends and even the sends of Christmas past, when I was just a wee old sender crushing hills on my trusty red toboggan. Even to this day, it's hard for me to express that feeling of putting on a pair of 2.0s for the first time, but I will leave you with this, these goggles are not for the weak willed. Purchasing a pair of 2.0s is a commitment to send like its your last every time you put them on. If you are truly prepared for this heavy burden then I am confident in saying that this is your chance at the purchase of a lifetime. Good luck and God sends.